Sunday, April 22, 2010

It’s been a long time since I’ve written, almost two months, and people are starting to complain, so here’s the update.

In March, I had another L-Dex test to check for possible lymphedema. My numbers had gone up right after the surgery, which was to be expected. But this time, almost 4 months out from surgery, and several months worth of pumping myself full of the supplements that Keith Block recommended, my numbers had gone down—even further down than my original pre-surgery baseline test! So that was nice to see…

In the beginning of April, I had an appointment with my radiation oncologist. He was thrilled by how everything was going. I really like him, so I asked him for recommendations for a dermatologist (if you’ve had one cancer, you suddenly realize anything is possible), and a plastic surgeon. He also gave me the name of a doc in the Palm Beach Cancer Institute who does rehabilitation medicine; he trusts her to find out why I’ve had shoulder pain in the left shoulder since the surgery. I had hit that shoulder against the wall—hard—when I fell and broke my knee several years ago, but it never really bothered me, or I was favoring it and not realizing it, until the breast surgery and subsequent twice weekly sessions with a trainer.

The last two weeks have been busy. Last Friday, I heard that Joya (Ma Jaya) was in a coma, the end phase of a rapid decline from stage four pancreatic cancer, and went up to Kashi Ranch to pay my respects (www.kashi.org). I firmly believe in making sure everything feels all right inside concerning former teachers, before they die, if possible. She died that night, so by the time I got there, I got to view the body before the funeral home came to take her away.

Being in the presence of death is always a powerful reminder. No one gets out of here alive. And it’s so clear that the body is nothing but a shell, an earthly container for the soul, for consciousness, which cannot die. Ram Nam Satya hai, satya bol, satya hai—that’s what they chant in India as they carry a body to the burning ghats. It means, “the Name of God is truth, sing the truth, the truth is.” Death is a truth we try desperately to hide from, or we fear it, but truth it is.

I also had a battery of blood tests done to check my nutrition, see how my “terrain” is doing. Then I had a session with the nutritionist at the Block Center to go over the results. Looking pretty good! They do various panels to check: 1)antioxidents 2) inflammation 3) circulation 4)glycemia/blood sugar and 5) immune panel. Very thorough! Some of my levels are a little low in certain vitamins, and supplements have been adjusted accordingly. I’m even getting used to taking them, but I still give myself Sundays off from pills.

BTW, saw the dermatologist this past week—all was well, they’re just age spots. Lovely. She did zap one “precancer” pink spot on my face, and that was that.

The plastic sugery consult was interesting. I had the doc attempt to explain the procedure to me used in a breast reduction, and I just couldn’t get it. The part I did get was that he’d want to inject some of my fat cells into the right breast to compensate for the flatness where the lumpectomy was, and they lipo the fat cells they use from your abdominal fat. I asked if they could take more than necessary! All I know right now is that I will wait till the fall before considering anything. I’m not anxious to go under the knife and three hours worth of anesthesia before a year out of surgery. Although the idea of getting back some symmetry in my body is very appealing, and insurance covers any kind of reconstruction following breast cancer. He also said a radiated breast will possibly undergo more changes during the first year, so waiting is the right move.

I don’t see the rehabilitation doc untl mid-May. She’s a busy person.

Today was very interesting. It was the OWN network showing of the Ram Dass interview with Oprah for her Super Soul Sunday program, followed by a showing of Fierce Grace. Hanuman Tirth came up and we watched the 3-hour show. Very powerful! I’m sure it will be on OWN again, so if you missed it, try to catch it later on. There was one segment of the interview where Oprah was asking Ram Dass if he said “Why me?” after the stroke, and he said he didn’t ever feel that way. I realized that I had never felt that way either after getting a diagnosis of cancer. I have always treated it as a wake-up call, time to transform yet again, on yet another level. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger… yes, indeed.

I am working these days on putting together a book proposal for the interviews I have done (and those that still remain to be done) of the Western devotees of Neem Karoli Baba. It’s plunging me into story after story about Maharajji, and I feel like I’m swimming in his grace.

Much love to you all. I hope these ramblings are helpful in some way to those of you out there. I know your support of me feels priceless.